Accidentally Inappropriate Friends

Disclaimer: At least one of my photos below may be terribly inappropriate. Please accept my sincerest apologies. 

I had a hard time typing that disclaimer because, as you know, I strive to be pretty tame in the Pretty Knitty Blog. I occasionally knit things that might resemble something inappropriate at first...for instance, the beginning of a toe-up sock can sometimes look like a cozy for another part of the body...and I have been the recipient of many a sideways glance while knitting toe-up socks in public settings. Sometimes the looks are accompanied by a follow up question, like, "Ummm, pardon me for asking, but what exactly are you making???"

"Not what you are thinking, I'll bet!," is a commonly Pretty answer! Lol! I love that knitting brings with it such imaginative responses from the non-knitters around me! So funny to think that pretty little me might be knitting something "naughty."

Alas, most of my knitting is very, very tame. For instance, these little giraffes that I knit for my grandson's room...and the pic was just so cute, I put it on my custom Kindle cover. Every time I look at my Kindle, I get a little boost of the "look-what-I-can-knit!" good vibes that come with the territory of toy-knitting!

Of course, there was that time that I knit the senior minister (and my good friend) a bookmark. The lace pattern reminded me of arched church windows and it was turning out so very lovely...until my then-teen-aged son pointed out that the unblocked windows resembled...ummmm, something else...something decidedly anatomical. "Are you still going to give that to Mr. Hanze, Mom?," he asked.

I reasoned with him that when the work had been blocked and flattened out it would look much less like what he thought it looked like. But the truth was that I could never look at that bookmark again, even after blocking, without seeing...well, what my boy saw. I did give it to Tim, and I told him the story. Boy!, did he have a good laugh! So did I, every time I saw those "church windows" peeking out of a book that my dear senior minister was reading! (I know. I know. I really want to post a pic, but I just can't even. Too inappropriate!)

This past  week, I knit some simple dolls for my youngest granddaughter. Knit flat, then seamed into a tube before stuffing and shaping, this type of toy has the potential to look like an inappropriate cozy along the way, so I was careful to not take in-process photos. When they were finished, I posed each toy on top of my Kindle in its cover, for perspective and extra cuteness, which was just perfect...

Until it was accidentally inapropriate!

Bwaaahahahahaha! My knitting group has a kind of middle-school boy sense of humor, and after pointing out my poor placement, they dared me to post that photo on Facebook to see how long it took someone to comment! These friends remind me regularly that it is a good thing to not take myself too seriously, so here I am blogging it today...hahaha!!!

Today's post is no accident, but I did not even see what they saw in that photo until I got to knitting on Thursday. This makes me unobservant, and maybe a bit naive, but posting the evidence proves that at least I am not taking myself too seriously today! I hope that you have people in your life that keep you humble, and help you find humor in unexpected places. I am so thankful for my twisted knitting sisters!

Thanks for stopping by, friends...and Knit in Good Health...even if your knitting is occasionally inappropriate!

Something in My Pocket

Last Saturday, I blogged about Joy. I have meditated on that blog post quite a bit through the week, and I am happy to report that I have found joy! Here it is, in a happy grandson...

In reconnecting with friends, and in knitting sweaters with built-in pockets for granddaughters who have lots of fun things to keep in those pockets!

Thinking about joy has me also thinking about happiness, specifically my day-to-day happiness level, which is often not very high. If I really stop and think about my circumstances or emotions on any given day, I actually tend toward sad most of the time. Sometimes I am even sad when there is nothing to really be sad about. But given enough quiet time, I can usually find lots of things to be sad about. 

Intellectually, I know that this state of mind is depression, and depression is something I have struggled with most of  my life. No matter what I do, I seem to have a really hard time sustaining happiness. Still, I can choose joy.

Joy and happiness are so different. Happiness depends entirely on the things outside of me: other people, the weather, the state of my bank account, the number on the scale. Happiness is as fleeting as a butterfly on a sunny day, right here in front of me one moment and gone in the blink of an eye. Joy, as I wrote last week, is a choice we all make. No matter what is going on around me, and even when I cannot control anything that is happening, I can always choose how I respond. There is a song, from my early days as a Girl Scout, that has been running through my head the last few days. Take a listen here, if you like: Brownie Smile Song.

If not, here are the words:

I've got something in my pocket that belongs across my face.

I keep it very close at hand, in a most convenient place!

I know you'd never guess it, if you guessed for a long, long while - 

So, I'll take it out and put it on: it's a great-big Brownie smile!

I am glad that song keeps popping into my head. Hearing it, and singing it, make me happy. It is just a happy song. This happy song tells me how to choose joy, and reminds me that joy is no accident.

Joy is something I keep in my pocket, for when things go wrong. When my face wants to cry, or my mouth wants to shout at my circumstances, I know I have joy in my pocket, and that it belongs across my face. I know that there will be bumps in the road, that people will be occasionally (or often) unkind, so I keep it very close at hand, in a most convenient place. In the midst of hard times, joy is an unexpected response. I know you'd never guess that I have it tucked away...so I have to make a choice. I reach down deep to take it out, and put it on, my great-big, 50-year-old Brownie smile!

Sometimes, I do not reach down and put on my Brownie smile. Sometimes I cry. Sometimes, I shout. I have even been known to say a bad word or twenty. Sometimes, I wallow in self-pity and "why me?" for a time, times, and half a time...or so it seems. I forget about the joy in my pocket. That is ok. God gave me a host of emotions, and since he created me in his image, he knows just how I feel.

In hard times, the promise of Psalms 30:5 is so encouraging - JOY comes in the morning! A shout of joy comes in the morning! At morn there is rejoicing! In the morning, we can sing for joy! Because of this promise, I know that my joy is still there, when I am ready. Praise God!

So, wherever you are, check your pocket. If you need a new smile, please take one of mine, and if it has been a while since you put your joy on display, perhaps today is the day! 

Thanks for stopping by, and Knit in Good Health!

Choosing Joy

Three years ago, nearly to the day, I wrote this post. I wrote a little more in the next couple weeks, and those of you who have followed the blog know that our lives have been challenging since then. In reality, our lives have always been challenging. But this morning, I went back to what I wrote on February 10, 2016, five days after the most traumatic tragedy to ever touch our family. You know what I found? I found the peace that passes understanding* through the 23rd Psalm, and I found joy.

My life has not been peaceful all the time, or even most of the time, but there have been joy and peace. To be honest, as I look back at that post, I am a little astonished. I see what I wrote, and I wonder how I wrote it. It was an awful time, it is still awful to even think about the night that murder became a family memory. The days and questions that followed on the heels of an unthinkable crime, and the depression that has haunted most of our family members ever since, these are the things that make peace and joy seem unattainable. 

Still, through all the change and hurt and confusion and helplessness, I continue to be comforted by God's word and my brothers and sisters in Christ. I am so thankful to be "leaning, leaning, leaning on the everlasting arms" of the Father, redeemed through the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. I do not have it all figured out, and despite the smiley face I slap on every day, I do not have it all together. But I have something better: Faith in Jesus, and in the knowledge that I am a beloved child of God; Hope that this life will continue to bring me closer to Christ every day, and help me to bring others close to him as well; and Love for a God who loved me before I ever considered what being lovable really looks like, and his love for me...a love that never fails.** 

You know what else I have? Joy. In the midst of pain or pleasure, I have joy. In the midst of trials or triumphs, I have joy. In the midst of heartache or happiness, I have joy. Joy is not something that just happens. I have to make a concerted effort to choose joy every day, sometimes every hour or every minute even...so I do.

You and I live in an imperfect world, a fallen world, filled with imperfect and hurting people who can suck the life right out of a person. But, we have a choice. No matter what is happening outside of us, we can choose joy on the inside...and pray for others to do the same, even the life-suckers. A little kindness can go a long way, especially on a frustrating day. Being kind to others may help them find their joy, or at least stop trying to steal yours, and helping others find joy will bring you joy as a side effect. 

Somebody once asked me how I pursue joy, how I get through this imperfect life without losing my optimistic outlook. My answer was this: "No matter where you are, it only takes a minute to smile and be nice, and I usually have a minute." I wish it had been some insanely profound, super-Christian answer, but the truth is that joy is pretty simple. Joy, like love, is multiplied when we give it away. So I smile at the grumpy cashier, the guy who rides his three-wheeler in the park with a permanent scowl, the exasperated mom wrangling three screaming kids...and sometimes it seems to help. Sometimes I even get a smile back...and sometimes not...but that does not matter. 

What matters is that I have reached waaay down on a hard day to find a smile and share it.  I have chosen joy, even when I felt like scowling back or rolling my eyes with a big, discontented sigh. But I do my best to choose joy. Also, I knit a lot. 

Some days will always be better than others, but joy is a choice that you and I are always free to make. Choose wisely friends.

Thanks for stopping by, and Knit Joyfully in Good Health! 

*Philippians 4:7

**1 Corinthians 13:13; Psalm 136

Winter Wallaby One

Happy Sweater-day!

Light and shadow play a big part on the second of February, as the nation wakes up to find out if good ol' Punxsutawney Phil has seen his shadow or not. But either way, whether the rodent sees his shadow or not...whether we have 6 more weeks of dark, shadowy winter, or bright springtime comes sooner...every day plays out in light and shadows when the month of January and its coordinating sweater are finished!

This year marks the fifth January sweater I have knit for myself! It started in 2014, with a knit-a-long in my local knitting group, when I knit this sweater:

In 2015, I was busy knitting baby sweaters and toys, but I knit another January sweater in 2016,

in 2017,

and in 2018!

Each sweater in January has taught me something about knitting, and a little bit about myself, too. I have learned that I love a challenge (knititng an adult sweater in under a month is a challenge!), I enjoy many different kinds of patterns (both the knitting and the wearing), and I still love knitting! (As if me not loving knitting was even an option...lol!) As a bonus, after spending the last 3-4 months of any year frantically knitting for others (Christmas knitters, amiright?), it is so good to have one thing for me that I can focus on.

This year's sweater has taught me that, regardless of the cold, the best pictures are in the sunshine and snow...

and sometimes on the porch!

I learned that I really love the look of a well-placed bead...a little "bling" for a gal who usually doesn't mess with much jewelry (despite the name of this blog),

and I still love grabbing vintage buttons from Grandmother's button box.

Now that the almost-annual January sweater is finished, you know I will get back to knitting for these three cuties:

but when I am wearing any of my my January sweaters, I know that I can conquer whatever shadowy news the Groundhog brings on February second! What brings you joy and warms your heart in the middle of a shadowy winter? Whatever it is, I hope that you will cherish it and look to the light, even on the coldest, snowy-est of days.

Thanks for stopping by, friends, and Happy Sweater-day to you! May you Knit in Good Health all winter long!

Go on...

I listen to podcasts to pass the time while I am driving, or as background when I am working...pretty much like I used to listen to the radio. Who here remembers listening to the radio for entertainment? Oh. Just me then? Ok...

Anyhoo, I listen to podcasts that range from knitting and history to Sunday sermons. That last category is actually one of my faves, because it helps me to keep up with some of the pastors I have known through the years, and to hear more from some of the big names that I may never meet. Overall, I glean a good bit of wisdom from the teachings I have heard.

This week, I listened to a sermon that has really made me think. In talking about worship styles, this pastor said that if you don't like it, you have two choices: get over it, or leave. That is true in church life, and in many other situations as well.

If you follow along, you will know that I have ties to a few different churches, and something I have learned is that no church is perfect. One does not have to look hard to find flaws in a church because churches are filled with imperfect people, hurting people, people doing their best to get closer to heaven, and people who are just trying to figure out if/how/why the Jesus piece fits into the puzzle of their lives. But the bottom line, if a church seeks to bring lost people to the foot of the cross, is that the services should not always speak directly to the people who are firmly planted there at Jesus' feet. 

That is not to say that I have never had a complaint in (or out of) church, I have. However, I am sitting at the foot of the cross, and trying to draw others to the same place, and it is not about me. I have stayed and gotten over things, and it is hard. I have left, and it is hard. Neither was a walk in the park, but in both cases I have been best served by continuing to follow Jesus.

In light of this, I would say that there are not two choices, but three...and none are completely independent of the others. In a difficult time, you must choose to...

1. Get over it (and forgive), or not.

2. Get out of the situation, or stay (but will you be miserable?).

3. Go on with your life, or give up.

Getting over it sounds like it should be easy. "Just get over it," we might say to a child who does not get her way, or an adult who is struggling with a hurt. Three simple words, tied to a heap of self-denial and acceptance of a situation or person that has hurt your heart. But getting over heartbreak and hurt is not something you do all at once. A broken heart needs time and space to heal, and if you decide to stay in a difficult situation or relationship, you have to make adjustments. Trust must be rebuilt, forgiveness extended, conversations changed...and a decision must be made to continually give God control and ask him to heal your heart and help you forgive, in spite the challenges you may continue to face.

Getting out is no piece of cake either, although it does give you a bit more space to work on getting over it. I left a church just a couple years ago, during a time that was difficult for me personally, and it was one of the hardest decisions I have ever made. Leaving the church building was not hard. But leaving the church family, who rejoiced with me when my husband and children were baptized into Christ...a support system to which I had always known I could turn...was devastating. But this time, in my quest to get over personal pain, I found myself unable to turn to this family for comfort and guidance and also be true to my commitment to not gossip or be divisive within that church family. My only option was to get out, and it was the only way I was ever going to get over my own broken heart. 

Going on may be the hardest part. Whether you get over it or get out, or do both, going on means getting out of bed, putting on pants and finding your new normal. It means continuing in your faith and all the day-to-day things, when all you want to do is hide, and it is not easy. I got out of a painful situation, and I am getting over the things that sparked my decision to leave. The thing that has been most helpful, on both counts, is that I am going on with my spiritual life. I am worshiping weekly in an imperfect church where God's Word is regularly preached and practiced. I am studying on my own and enjoying "life together" with other Christians, who sometimes let me down. Most of all, I am doing my best to worship God in everything I do all week long, from my job to loving people to volunteering around the church I attend. I have not given up.

In short (too late, I know, I am a woman of many words!), there is a three-pronged choice to make when you are in a difficult situation. When you choose to get over it (forgive) and go on, regardless of whether you stay or get out, you will reap the rewards of a stronger you. If you continue to nurture your relationship with God and his people, others will see your good deeds and praise God (Matthew 5:16) for your strong example. Perhaps you will even help draw someone else to the foot of the cross.

If you have been hurt or are in a difficult place in life, in church or somewhere else, I know it is hard to go on...but I know that you can do it. If you need someone to hold your hand, drop me a line. I have been there, my friend, and I did not have to do it alone. Neither do you. But you have choices to make.

Thanks for stopping by, and Knit in Good Health!

PS - As this is a knitting blog, I will tell you that I am nearly finished with that sweater I have been showing you. Just a bit more of sleeve number two to knit, then a soak and block, and more pictures (I hope) next week!