Go on...

I listen to podcasts to pass the time while I am driving, or as background when I am working...pretty much like I used to listen to the radio. Who here remembers listening to the radio for entertainment? Oh. Just me then? Ok...

Anyhoo, I listen to podcasts that range from knitting and history to Sunday sermons. That last category is actually one of my faves, because it helps me to keep up with some of the pastors I have known through the years, and to hear more from some of the big names that I may never meet. Overall, I glean a good bit of wisdom from the teachings I have heard.

This week, I listened to a sermon that has really made me think. In talking about worship styles, this pastor said that if you don't like it, you have two choices: get over it, or leave. That is true in church life, and in many other situations as well.

If you follow along, you will know that I have ties to a few different churches, and something I have learned is that no church is perfect. One does not have to look hard to find flaws in a church because churches are filled with imperfect people, hurting people, people doing their best to get closer to heaven, and people who are just trying to figure out if/how/why the Jesus piece fits into the puzzle of their lives. But the bottom line, if a church seeks to bring lost people to the foot of the cross, is that the services should not always speak directly to the people who are firmly planted there at Jesus' feet. 

That is not to say that I have never had a complaint in (or out of) church, I have. However, I am sitting at the foot of the cross, and trying to draw others to the same place, and it is not about me. I have stayed and gotten over things, and it is hard. I have left, and it is hard. Neither was a walk in the park, but in both cases I have been best served by continuing to follow Jesus.

In light of this, I would say that there are not two choices, but three...and none are completely independent of the others. In a difficult time, you must choose to...

1. Get over it (and forgive), or not.

2. Get out of the situation, or stay (but will you be miserable?).

3. Go on with your life, or give up.

Getting over it sounds like it should be easy. "Just get over it," we might say to a child who does not get her way, or an adult who is struggling with a hurt. Three simple words, tied to a heap of self-denial and acceptance of a situation or person that has hurt your heart. But getting over heartbreak and hurt is not something you do all at once. A broken heart needs time and space to heal, and if you decide to stay in a difficult situation or relationship, you have to make adjustments. Trust must be rebuilt, forgiveness extended, conversations changed...and a decision must be made to continually give God control and ask him to heal your heart and help you forgive, in spite the challenges you may continue to face.

Getting out is no piece of cake either, although it does give you a bit more space to work on getting over it. I left a church just a couple years ago, during a time that was difficult for me personally, and it was one of the hardest decisions I have ever made. Leaving the church building was not hard. But leaving the church family, who rejoiced with me when my husband and children were baptized into Christ...a support system to which I had always known I could turn...was devastating. But this time, in my quest to get over personal pain, I found myself unable to turn to this family for comfort and guidance and also be true to my commitment to not gossip or be divisive within that church family. My only option was to get out, and it was the only way I was ever going to get over my own broken heart. 

Going on may be the hardest part. Whether you get over it or get out, or do both, going on means getting out of bed, putting on pants and finding your new normal. It means continuing in your faith and all the day-to-day things, when all you want to do is hide, and it is not easy. I got out of a painful situation, and I am getting over the things that sparked my decision to leave. The thing that has been most helpful, on both counts, is that I am going on with my spiritual life. I am worshiping weekly in an imperfect church where God's Word is regularly preached and practiced. I am studying on my own and enjoying "life together" with other Christians, who sometimes let me down. Most of all, I am doing my best to worship God in everything I do all week long, from my job to loving people to volunteering around the church I attend. I have not given up.

In short (too late, I know, I am a woman of many words!), there is a three-pronged choice to make when you are in a difficult situation. When you choose to get over it (forgive) and go on, regardless of whether you stay or get out, you will reap the rewards of a stronger you. If you continue to nurture your relationship with God and his people, others will see your good deeds and praise God (Matthew 5:16) for your strong example. Perhaps you will even help draw someone else to the foot of the cross.

If you have been hurt or are in a difficult place in life, in church or somewhere else, I know it is hard to go on...but I know that you can do it. If you need someone to hold your hand, drop me a line. I have been there, my friend, and I did not have to do it alone. Neither do you. But you have choices to make.

Thanks for stopping by, and Knit in Good Health!

PS - As this is a knitting blog, I will tell you that I am nearly finished with that sweater I have been showing you. Just a bit more of sleeve number two to knit, then a soak and block, and more pictures (I hope) next week!