Patronizing Pants

I wish that my pants would stop patronizing me.

::Wait. What? Your pants?::

Yes. My pants are very patronizing. Allow me to explain...

Back when I broke my fingers (trying to get fit, I fell while jogging) I was at a decent weight. Not an ideal weight, but I was down several pounds from where I had started a year before. I had even bought smaller pants, and ditched many of my "fat clothes." Since the fall, however, I have not run. Actually, I haven't done much since then...well, except knit. (Side note: knitting with broken fingers is possible, but difficult...and really, the calories should have continued to burn themselves just out of respect for my determination to knit! But they did not.) Because I have spent more time sitting these past few months, the weight I had lost has come back, and I think every pound has invited a friend. Eventually, I knew I would have to shop for new pants...and I did.

At the store, I had trouble. I don't know why it is so difficult to buy pants that fit, but I've talked to lots of women (of ALL sizes) and this is a fairly common occurrence. After trying on about a gazillion pair of jeans in a variety of sizes, I picked up a pair that had no zipper...that is to say pull-up jeans, with an elastic waist. In my head, these are also known as gramma pants, fat pants, and/or lazy pants... But I needed pants, and they fit, so I bought them.

Then, as I was getting dressed about a week later, I thought I was holding the pants backwards. There was writing on the waistband...wait. What does that say there?

It says, "You are GORGEOUS." My pants have just told me, in a moment of weakness, while I was having trouble distinguishing the front from the back of a pair of pants...my pants have just told me that I am pretty. Now, every time I get dressed or go to the ladies room, they continue to patronize me! If they weren't so darn comfortable, I'd have to burn them.

Don't get me wrong, I don't think that I am not gorgeous. Obviously I am pretty, because I am Pretty! But do my pants really have to pander to me that way? It's like they are saying, "You're not fat, you're fluffy!" Or perhaps they are proclaiming, "You have such a pretty face!" I know that I have a pretty face, and I know that I am fluffy...and despite the latter, I actually have a pretty good self-esteem these days. However, I'm always a little offended when I feel patronized...

What do you think? Are my pants patronizing? Are yours?
Are all pants involved in a conspiracy against women finding jeans to fit?
Are there curve-less, straight-and-narrow, toothpick designers out there just laughing at women who NEED their pants to tell them they are pretty?
Should I just stop all this madness and get back to the knitting?

Let me know your thoughts, and let me know what is the very best thing about YOU in the comments! My very best thing is that I am finally learning to have a sense of humor. It is a weird sense of humor, to be sure, but at least I have started to loosen up before this lifetime is over!

Thanks for stopping by, and Knit (and Laugh) in Good Health!

Yarnigan? Yarn, again!

I made yarn! That is to say that I took another bunch of fluff,

and my prettiest spindle (both from 7yaks Design), 

and I came up with yards and yards of this:

Yarn!!!

I've made yarn again, and here are the details:

Fiber: Merino, SW Merino, Mohair, Nylon (15%), Firestar, Bamboo - a total of 3.4oz. 

Direction: Singles spun Z, 3-plied S

Weight: Fingering

Yardage: ~310yds (if I counted it right)

I did take photos, along the way and at the finish, but I never did use a coin for perspective. I know it's fingering (more or less), a little thick here, a little thin there, but mostly right on, and I ended up with a decent yardage, so I am pretty happy about that! :) If I could change just one thing, I think I would have added a little less twist while plying...it seems a little wiry to me, and I think it's over-plied? Not sure...if you're an expert, please chime in! I do wish it was just a little softer and squishier, but overall, I like it! It's so very PURPLE!!! And SHINY!!! =D

Now, what should this Yarnigan knit with the yarn she made? She made yarn again!!!

Crickets

Recently, I attended a ladies' brunch at our church, and there was a "stand up and tell us about you" moment. These moments always make me a little bit nervous, for several reasons: 

1. I like to talk. Some would say that I like to talk too much. So much so that I know the average listener tunes me out after the first half-hour or so, maybe sooner. 
2. Most everyone at church knows me, and they know a LOT about me. I'm a really bad secret keeper when it comes to all things Pretty, and I have occasionally been handed an actual microphone at church...so, yeah. There's no mystery here.
3. I like to think that I am funny. I like to think that right up until that moment I say something out loud, something that sounded really funny in my head...and even the crickets are silent. 

Anyway, while I was sitting at my table, waiting my turn to stand up and tell them about me, all kinds of things went through my head. Funny things. Seriously funny things. Imagine my horror, then, when I stood up and said simply, "Hi, I'm Pretty. (nervous smile) I've been going to this church since 1995. Sometimes I'm funny (silent pause, nobody laughed, not even the crickets. should I go on? what choice do I have?), and sometimes I'm not." Some of the polite, church ladies offered polite, church lady laughs, but the truth is that I bombed. Even the crickets were embarrassed for me.

Perhaps I should knit myself a cricket.
My cricket will validate me.
Always.

A Tale of Two Sweaters

One finished...

One...notsomuch. But the back is finished...

The first, in fingering weight, has already been spotted in the wild!

The second...notsomuch. But that's ok. I have time until it needs to get to Mork. At least I've made some progress on the front already!

Until the Beagle is finished, I will just enjoy the wearing of the Plum Frost. Isn't it pretty?

Are you knitting any Olympic-sized projcts? Maybe there's still time for me to enter the WIP Dancing event...then again, maybe I won't. I kindof feel like working on a scarf! 

Whatever you're knitting, thank you for taking a little break to visit with me this fine Saturday. :) I hope that you are warm and cozy today, and Knitting in Good Health!

Playing With My Food

When I was but 18 or 19, I had a job working as an aide in a 24-hour daycare. The kids in my class were 2 years old, and I loved every minute of it. Often, after the teacher and I had cleaned up the lunch tables and laid everyone down for naptime, I would enjoy my lunch. I mean to say that I would really enjoy my lunch...I would hum as I peeled an orange, and savor every bite of my sandwich, then sigh contentedly as I licked the creme center from the cookies I had packed for dessert. In short, I played with my food as I ate, and I enjoyed every minute of it! 

I still enjoy food, and the making of new things, and the getting a little messy that goes along with playing with food...so it's no surprise that I ended up making these for Valentine's Day:

So yummy, and with Pinterest at my side, so easy and fun! I started with THIS LINK from Pinterest, and I used her recipe for the peanut butter filling. I'm not going to repeat that recipe here, because it's not your only option...you can use a buckeye recipe, a jar of biscoff spread, plain peanut butter, whatever you like, really! I chose to make that buckeye filling, 

and I dumped a spoonful onto some tiny pretzel knots...

Then I topped them with another pretzel, smooshing them down slightly. (At this point, the original recipe tells you to freeze the whole bunch, but I forgot that part. Perhaps that's why I made such a mess, but I'm here to tell you that you can skip that part, if you want...but it's messy!)

Then I melted some chocolate that I had on hand (because everyone who loves playing with their food has melting wafers on hand, right? no? hmmm)...and I dipped each "sandwich" halfway into the melty, chocolatey goodness, and put them in the freezer for a few minutes to set the chocolate. (Do not skip the freezing here, or they won't set up and look pretty!)

While that first dip was setting, I also melted some white chocolate wafers (look out! she's getting a little crazy in that kitchen)...because I am adventurous with food, and I like to switch things up like that...and when I took the half-dipped candies out of the freezer, I dipped the other half in the luscious melted white chocolate...

...and added SPRINKLES!!! Because, well, Hello! SPRINKLES!!! And it's Valentine's Day, and why the heck shouldn't I use sprinkles any time I want to? That's right, sprinkles rock! After the sprinkles, back to the freezer to set the white chocolate...and try not to drool.

These are amazing!

Since I was on the sprinkle kick, I also made some jewelry...some sweet, yummy, gooey jewelry (thank you again, Pinterest! Here's THE LINK)...to package up and send to some of my favorite girlies. :) 

(By the way, I didn't have exactly what the project called for on this one, so here's what I did: I knotted together lengths of twizzlers pull-n-peel, then used a drinking straw to cut holes through large marshmallows. Then I "painted" a heart with a very thin powdered sugar glaze, and dipped the hearts in SPRINKLES!, and let them dry for a couple of hours before packaging. Hopefully they won't arrive as broken hearts, or a box of loose sprinkles!)

Watch for your package Peanut and Mindy!!! It's a good one!

You know what? Standing up to make all those goodies has really taken it's toll. My feet hurt. I think I may have to sit down for awhile to recover, and look! There's my knitting, just waiting for me...YAY! Perhaps I'll just taste-test one of these peanut-filled goodies first... 

A Little Stir Crazy

On Wednesday, it did this at my house, and when it was over, Sweetie dug us out.

I sat on the couch, all day long, blissfully knitting. Of course, even today, the yard still looks like this.

So after work (and before work, and occasionally during work), I continue to knit and stay inside. I don't mind, but I think Black Cat is feeling a little stir crazy...

...and White Cat can't find the Cheerios.

But the neighbor pups still want their cookies. lol! Hello, dogs...

I think I will hibernate now. And maybe I'll knit. :) How about you?

A-O.K.A.D.D.

I think I have a little touch of what I like to refer to as "Adult-Onset Knitting ADD." Or it's possible that I am Queen-of-Run-on-Sentences-in-My-Brain. I really don't know exactly why, but I just want to cast on ALL THE THINGS, and I just want to knit on ALL THE THINGS...but I just can't seem to stay focused...is that ADD? You know, like when I'm knitting a scarf,...

...and I end up deciding to just rip it out the next day and try another pattern...you know, the one I was going to knit if I hadn't gotten distracted by the one I just started...because (well, it's no secret) I am easily distracted. Or maybe I could better describe it by mentioning the sweater that I should be knitting for my son,...

...if I weren't distracted by the one I am knitting for ME! You know, the one where I had to rip out the hem and add 30 more rows, and as I was knitting sleeve two (pictured below) I realized that I really, really should rip out sleeve one and redo it a little less snug.

Or maybe it's like the spinning. You know, the spinning that I started just before I broke my fingers...that I could not spin with a cast, and could barely spin with the brace...?

Oh!, and did I mention that it is SHINY???

This will be my first traditional three-ply, and I am pretty excited! Well, except that I just cast on a pair of socks...

Socks, and I ended up giving away my scarf, so I need to cast on another.

And I lost my favorite mittens, the ones I've been wearing non-stop all vortex long...so I need to cast on another pair of mittens.

And I have yarn all queued up for more hexipuffs.

And the afghan OTN.

SQUIRREL!!! (Or should I say beaver? CKW gals, you know what I'm talkin' 'bout!)

Anyway, what was I talking about? Yeah, I don't remember either. Have you seen my knitting bag anywhere? I think I need to knit...or spin...or something! :)

I hope your thoughts are less scattered than mine these days, and I hope you are not buried under this stuff like we are...again! But, then again, it is winter here. I guess it is what it is!

Stay warm, my friends, and Knit in Good Health!

Getting Ready for the Big Game!!!

What do you mean, "Getting ready for the Big Game," Pretty? It's not like you're going to a party or anything...

Ummm, yes. Yes I am. I am totally going (for the 5th year in a row) to the Knitters' Super Bowl Party at Tina's house, and I have two major decisions to make before Sunday afternoon:

1. What yummy food will I make to share?, and
2. What new project will I cast on for the Big Game?

Although I am not sure that I will take her advice, I did ask Peanut last weekend what she likes to eat. Here's her answer:

So, "Macaroni and cheese, chicken and chicken nuggets...," and "nothin'" else, will apparently be on her menu for tomorrow's game, but I think I'll go a different route. :) Not sure what exactly just yet, but I did buy some goodies last night at the grocery store...I have options.

As for what I will knit, I have options there, too. Here are my choices:

1. Dog sweater I've promised to my neighbor across the street, which I feel a little guilty about, since we've had TWO "polar vortices" this month...but I told her at the outset that it would be awhile until I could cast on...
2. The Front of the Beagle Sweater for Mork, which I should have already cast on by now, but can still have finished for his birthday at least.
3. Cowl for Mindy in yarn she picked out last weekend. 
4. Socks. I have no socks on the needles, yet there is so much sock yarn in my stash!
5. A pair of alpaca mittens to match the new alpaca scarf...because I desperately want mittens in this yarn!

Gosh, I think that's all of them...how will I ever choose?

Do you have any plans for the big game tomorrow? Or will you just wait to see what the buck-toothed rodent from Punxsutawney says about all this winter we've been having, then bury your head under the blankets until spring? If it's the latter, you should totally cast on another warm blanket today, because of all this winter we've been having! Either way, be well and stay warm. 

Thanks for stopping by, and Knit in Good Health!