Precarious

This week has felt...precarious, at best. I've shared here, maybe over-shared at times, about my in-laws and the weird ways that our extended families relate to one another...and there has been much family relating this week. 

My father-in-law has been in less than optimum health for some time. At 85, he has trouble keeping his diabetes under control, so he ends up in the hospital once or twice a year to get things straightened out. This time, the hospital visit came with some heart troubles, and things don't look great. Sweetie's week has been full of difficult conversations and more emotions than he is used to, in general, and mine has too.

Sweetie's mom and dad have been married since 1964, so these moments are hardest on her. With all that this family went through in 2016 (if you don't know, go back and read some of my posts between Feb-April of that year) watching Grandpa's health decline is hard on our nephews, too. Add in difficult talks about next steps that may mean imminent goodbyes, and precarious is a great word for this week.

That's not to say that there have not been good moments along the way. I asked Dad what year he and Mom got married, making conversation that I hoped would bring him some joy. His eyes lit up and filled with tears as he told us about meeting and marrying Mom, and how she "was the prettiest girl I ever saw," and "She still is!"

I'm glad they've had the chance to spend some time together this week. It's so difficult when they have to be apart, since they both have mobility issues... and we really can't say when he will be able to go home. 

And there's been some knitting...mostly on my sock, since that's the best for portable, hospital knitting. 

Tomorrow is never guaranteed, so we are trying to not put off loving our loved ones as well as we can, while we can...and we remember that, despite all this, God is still good.  I hope that you will do the same.

Thanks for stopping by, and thank you to all of the friends who have reached out and checked in with us along the way. 

Knit and Love in Good Health, friends! 

Our youngest grand, my daughter and my mom...fun photo to close a hard week.

Choose Happy (when you can...)

Because you can't always Choose Happy. 

Sometimes happy is not in the picture for a bit, and that's ok. Sometimes you don't get a choice, and the emotion of the day is sad...or angry...or anxious...or whatever. It's ok. Let yourself feel it. Rather than slapping on a smile and pretending, give yourself some time to do what you need to do to get through it.

What?!? Is that what YOU always do, Pretty?

Well, first of all, that was a fairly accusatory tone. Secondly, ouch. No. That is not what I always do. I'd sure like to do that more often...but I am far from perfect, and I know it.

Pretty is queen of slapping on a happy face and pretending that all is well in the Pretty World. It is a coping mechanism, as much as any other. I can fake it 'till I make it to happy, right? Sometimes, but not always...and that's not the healthiest way to approach those icky emoticons. 

What I should do instead (at least according to just about everything I've read about emotional health) is 1. acknowledge what I feel, 2. allow myself to feel it, and then 3. figure out how to move forward, even though it feels really bad sometimes. 

Sometimes moving forward means slapping on a happy face and just doing the next right thing...but sometimes it means taking a nap, or a break (preferably with a cup of tea and some knitting).

A shawl I have recently knit.

Sometimes moving forward means having an occasionally difficult conversation, or an easy talk, with a friend or family member. 

Sometimes moving forward means having an ugly cry. 

Most of the time, for me anyway, moving forward means finding a way to get outside myself and do something for someone else...perhaps even for the person who is at the center of whatever emotional outburst I happen to be in the middle of. 

During 2021, I had lots of opportunities to do this well. During 2021, I did not always take those opportunities. I will try to do better in 2022.

Will you join me? I can teach you to knit along the way, you know, if you're into that kind of thing. If not, I can just stand with you as we do our best to Choose Happy...when we can. 

Thanks for stopping by. Knit in Good Health, and Happy New Year!