Life Together

There has been a lot of winter lately. Snow...

and ice...

and more snow...

Because of this, and because I know that there is a lot of winter yet to come (even though it should hit 40 degrees this afternoon), I am glad to see the stripey sweater steadily springing forth, stitch by stripey stitch!

I am also glad for hot coffee, and indoor activities, like blogging and knitting!

Something else that I am thankful for is a reminder I received at church last weekend. It goes something like this, from Hebrews, chapter 10:

In short, the highlighted verses tell us to do life together. We were created to do this thing called life on earth, and to do it in the company of others, helping each other along the way. But although I am a pretty social butterfly, doing life together is difficult for this Pretty. There are some parts that come pretty naturally to me, like being a safe place for others to land when the storms of life rock their worlds. Empathy, sympathy and quiet support come naturally to me, and I have held hands that were wrought with grief, shaking with uncertainty and bound with anger. I have a much harder time putting my own hands into the hands of a friend when I am the one who needs to be held, and I know that I am not alone in this. 

I would like to say that I have gotten better at doing life together, in the interest of bearing one another's burdens, as the Bible also instructs. Maybe I have improved a little. Mostly though, I have convinced myself that I am content to help others, but that I am ok on my own. After all, nobody wants to hear my sad stories. Even if they did, how safe is it really to share my struggles? If I tell you what is going on, it might make you think less of me. If I tell you that I am struggling in the wake of a friend or loved one who has disappointed me, that would be gossip (notoriously bad, according to the Bible, right?), and it might diminish your view of that person. If I let you know that I am not ok, and you understand, does that give me permission to stay not ok? 

I don't want to stay not ok, but I am just there sometimes. These last few years, "not ok" seems to have been my default setting, but this week I am working on it. I had dinner with a good friend, one who knows more of my struggles than most. She "gets" me, and I get her, we are on the same page in so many ways. We have held each other's hands through some pretty hairy stuff in the past few years (job stuff, family stuff, church stuff, life stuff), and I can be vulnerable with her, so this week I was. And she was vulnerable with me, and it was good. We both came away encouraged and loved. I need 1 or 2 friends like this in my life, and I really need to make my time with them a priority if I ever want to change my default back to "ok."

We all need a friend or two that we can be completely vulnerable with, even when it is ugly. I often wonder what would be different in our lives if my brother-in-law had had someone to do life with, rather than feeling so alone in his grief and despair. I wonder what would be different in my life if I had been better at honestly doing life together before our season of great loss began. What would be different in your life if you started doing life together? Would it change things to know that 1 or 2 good friends have your back, and will encourage you to do good and to love well, no matter what? 

Life is hard. It is better with friends. It can be spectacular with friends and Jesus. My prayer for you is that you find your tribe, and that you can live life abundantly by doing life together. 

Also, if you don't already know how, you should learn to knit. ;o)

Thanks for stopping by, and Knit in Good Health.